Interview with Andre (part 1)
- Reference Number: DW-94/1/4/2
- Date: 2013
- Level: Piece
- Extent: 1 item
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Description: 0.47 ? long process of coming out/figuring out. Knew he was different growing up, assumed it was a phase
1.20 ? Christian upbringing delaying coming out, afro-Caribbean evangelical Christian household ?everything gay was evil and so if you had those feelings you would have been in trouble ostracised from the larger afro-Caribbean community and the church so sort of been living semi in the closet for quite a number of years now so I finally plucked up the courage after a long process of counselling a bit of soul searching and then even changing churches I?ve been able to come out this year so what I?m trying to say is that a knew for a very long time that I wasn?t straight but I just didn?t have the word or the vocabulary to explain why I am who I am?
2.50 ? lack of information around when he was growing up trying to figure out his feelings
3.16 ? mention of the ?some people are gay get over it? campaign
3.20 ? gay always mentioned in a negative way, reinforced by teachings of his church, Old Testament
4 ? Praying to god to try to get rid of these feelings, not being able to talk to friends
5- Section 28, couldn?t talk to teachers about it
5.45 ? very few black lgbtq+ role models, those who were there fit into the camp weak stereotype
7 ? Gay people always being the butt of the joke on TV, always very effeminate or camp men ?it really stunted my view of what it means to be gay?
7.30 ? ashamed of his sexuality, went to his church and became very zealous, got confirmed into the Church of England
8.05- sent to an organisation, which believed it was okay to be gay or a lesbian but it?s not part of god?s plan, so be celibate instead, they had support meetings
9.10 ? story of another man from the group, quite high up, who was married with children, upon his divorce his wife would have understood if he left for another woman but could not compete with a man, this broke Andre?s heart, and realised that it could easily be him in a few years
11.11 ? aversion therapy ? emphasising his ?straight? side, the attraction he felt to women at the time, this is when he stopped going because it just wasn?t working for him, aged around 21
12.16- felt he was being a hypocrite
12.25 ? work stress ?I was conflicted with my faith and my sexuality it was clearly clashing I think that?s what fuelled my depression which is still continuing to this very day?
13 ? ?Led me to the point of almost insanity really? and potential suicide, being self-destructive
14.15 ? pretty much forced out of job, debt and bankruptcy ? but gave him time to soul search and come out properly, changing churches, to all saints in Wolverhampton
15.25 ? still proud to be part of the church as an openly bisexual, even the church encouraging him to date men
16.00- his old church teaching children that being gay was a sin, which broke his heart, didn?t have the courage to do anything about it, which he feels ashamed of
17.00 ? in the lgbt section of Wolverhampton central library, saw a leaflet for free counselling, for the lgbt organisation, based in trans space called gender matters in Compton, helped him to understand the t in lgbt ?My transsexual summer? on channel 4, learned that trans issues are more complex than people know, stayed on with gender matters, meeting some great people there, teaching him more about gender and sexuality, gender roles, challenging assumptions he was brought up with,
20.00 ? opens up his understanding of pansexuality ?for me being pan can be attracted to all people and all walks of life... for me it?s like a bigger more broader term than bisexuality however saying that just because I?m attracted to all people doesn?t mean I?m going to sleep with every people I meet but it does mean that I have ? I think what I mean by pansexuality is that I?m attracted to the person, I don?t want to sound cheesy but their soul,? I?m attracted to that person regardless of their gender or the orientations so it?s a new thing for me because I think for me how I see sexuality is quite fluid? talks about the Kinsey scale ?I see my sexuality more like a tide? that moves up and down the scale, which was difficult when he was trying to not be gay ?That?s who I am, its unique to me instead of being ashamed of it I should embrace it and love it and I think since doing that I feel much much better about myself?
- Access Status: Open
- Contact: Wolverhampton Archives, Wolverhampton Archives & Local Studies