Interview with Steve (pt 1)
- Reference Number: DW-94/1/21/4
- Date: 2013
- Level: Piece
- Extent: 1 item
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Description: Please note this interview contains content that some people may find upsetting.
1.10- identified as gay at 11, but only within self, struggled though teen years and early adulthood, stayed in the closet, expected to get married and have children, which he did, struggled, and only came out 5 years ago, after being married for 5 years
1.45- experiencing depression, realised he needed to come out
2.10- fear of rejection made him not come out as well as hearing other people?s attitudes to gay people in general, he was frightened
2.50- deterioration in health made him come out, depression and thoughts of suicide especially ?terrifying? as he has 2 young children
3.40- process of coming out was difficult, had a supportive counsellor, his wife was very supportive too, she was the first person he told
4.30- felt his wife had known for a long time. Decided to speak to their children over many months, about differences people have more generally, and also television characters e.g. Shaun (?) from Coronation Street all building up to him telling them about how he was different and they were accepting of this
5.50- dad was most difficult person to come out to, both parents had been homophobic, his father had once remarked after a TV programme ?all gay people are like animals and they should be shot?.
6.20- father cried when he came out to him, and Steve thought he had ruined his life, but that wasn?t why he was crying it was that he still loved him and regrets that Steve hadn?t been able to come out to him before
7.10- since he came out people have remarked he?s more confident, more relaxed, more himself, more free
7.35- works within the gay community, with youth groups, is a qualified counselling psychotherapist
8.15- one of his passions is educating children, so they know that it?s okay to be different, also have to talk with the parents about what messages they?re giving to their kids ?because all children need to know is they are going to be loved regardless?
9.20- talks about people who are suicidal
10.00- talks about different types of messages- positive, it?s okay, negative, it?s a sin and smaller comments, microaggressions
11.25- mentions some slurs
12.20- came out at 36, had a romanticised view of dating, e.g. signed up for what he thought was a dating site but it was more for one time meetings. But actually met his partner on this website, who also had the same misconception
13.15- issues within the community around safety, especially around meeting up with people from the internet if they are in the closet and can?t tell anyone that is what they are doing
14.20- is in a civil partnership now, but when he first came out went out onto the scene every single night
14.50- ?For me it was like being at home for the first time in my life to be with other gay people for me was just so comfortable and It was addictive?
16.10- mentions the HIV adverts, remembers his father calling it a gay plague a gay disease. It concerned Steve because he knew he was gay, it was frightening as it was a death sentence
16.50- ?So I very much kind of internalised that view that okay so if I am going to live as a gay man then I have death sentence so it added to the pressure I was under and reinforced my need to be in the closet?
17.15- feels the TV adverts reinforced peoples beliefs that being homosexual was wring and this was some kind of punishment, thinks some of this exists to this day
18.25- feels that people are more likely to be accepting now (uses transgendered a few times throughout which is an out of date term)
18.40- religious and cultural values
19.25- feels it can be easier now for people, but as a counselling psychotherapist still sees people who are rejected, disowned etc.
20.15- didn?t hear anything positive about being gay in the 1980s
21.05- didn?t feel more comfortable when celebs came out, because he would hear lots of negative comments from people around him
- Access Status: Open
- Contact: Wolverhampton Archives, Wolverhampton Archives & Local Studies